Sway – Jason Waste Lyrics
Lyrics
- Hi my name is Jason and I'm not gay
- People call me a waste man, cause I haven't got a Job
- Bed, up, make tea, shower, eat,
- Paste, wheat, change, go, make pes,
- Alarm snooze back to sleep
- All of my little brothers, always call me a waste man
- Because I'm 27, and I'm living down in the basement
- I'm so complement, so I will stay here
- They're banging on my door, but I won't chase em
- Cause I'm so lazy, the last few days I
- Haven't seen day light, I haven't shaved
- And they can say what they like, they just hate me
- Cause I never let em have a go on my playstation (Piss Off)
- They said I'm fat I need to go to the gym
- I don't wanna be fat, I wanna be slim
- Did a minute on the treadmill went for a swim
- Little kids jumped out soon as I jumped in
- Now I'm in the changing room
- Hi my name is Jason and I'm not gay
- I'm looking at your thing but it's not what you think
- I'm think to myself why is mine not as big
- So I think dirty thoughts so I can get it bigger
- Beyonce look at me now I'm a killer
- I said I'm not gay go away stop wishing
- I just wanted a bit of stiff competition
- (Em sorry Jason,) what, what do you want
- (Erm we just had a compliant) piss off
- (from a very valued client) I said piss off
- (standing result I'm revoking your membership)
- shut up I don't care
- this is a crap gym
- it doesn't work, how do I know it works
- I'm still fat, why am I still fat
- It's a s*** gym
- I got a baby mum and a lovely little son
- lovely boy but his is mum is very very dumb
- I was very very drunk, told her lot of secrets
- Very very drunk, told her not to keep it
- Anyway she had it, sorry had him, Darren
- His grandmother Karen, wanted to call him Gavin
- But I didn't have it, I was working at Maplin
- Gavin was my manager and I wanted to slap him
- Cause he wanted to sack me, Cause I wanted to stab him
- Cause my girl liked him and she wanted to shag him
- He's a bit bigger but I know I could have him
- At a matter of fact he kinder looks like Darren
- I still got sacked and this is how it happened
- Some Nigerian guy called Tonda
- Who told me to call him Thomas for short
- Walked into the store said he wanted to talk
- At first I wasn't sure, but because he was nice to me
- And he kinder showed me his nine
- He brought alot of stuff and he told me to swin
- But this is a woman's car (shut up it's for my wife)
- He would come in like every fort night
- And buy the same Ipod 4 times
- Apparently he was doing the same thing with Tarke
- Who told the police my name when it happened (It was Jason)
- (Hello Jason)what (where from the metropolitan police pro department) Police
- (Were like ask you) (excuse me)
- Listen go away man I don't want to get arrested
- I wanna rest (look) I wanna sleep (Your coming with me)
- All my little brothers smokes weed come arrest them or they'll do murder
- Bed
- I can sleep till the world ends
- I ain't in a rush for a girlfriend
- All I ever do is fail them
- Cause all I ever do is tell them the true
- If your fat your fat b**** ain't nothing wrong with that
- Don't switch I'm just telling you a fact
- do you think your thin
- (Well no)
- Well then
- (I hate you)
- I abuse most of them
- I think that's how I lose most of them
- I don't want to get to close to them
- After what happened to Elton in school
- Elton was cool
- But he had a girlfriend that didn't want to do things he wanted to do (I said no)
- She said no but he went ahead and felt her (Get off me)
- I think he's just coming out of Felter
- My last girl was a wanna be wag (Hi)
- Who went everywhere in a cab
- I told her I'm rich
- She took me to Harod
- And picked up this goochie bag
- Worth a grand
- I went quite like words from my gran
- Cause that's too much to spend on a slag
- I mean that's too much to spend on a bag
- As soon as we got to the till I ran (Where you going)
- Then my mobile rang (Ello)
- It was my first love ann (Hi Jason)
- She said she split up with her man (He's gone)
- And she's in need of a bang (Come round)
- I'll be on a bus in a minute
- She said "you better not buss in a minute"
- I got prank and rushed to the chemist
- Excuse me have you got anything for a man that ejaculates premature
- (Oh Yes)
- He took me to the back of the store
- He gave me a spray what's this for
- (Put a little on the top just before)
- Got to her house clock says 4
- She's worn out I'm wanting more
- Cause she's sore she went down south
- And I think she's saying she can't feel her mouth
- Oi Anna speak loud
- Are you saying you cant feel your mouth
- Are you saying where is this mouse
- What you want me to take your couch
- Look if you want to kiss me, out
- That's when she kicked me ouch
- I think she's trying to kick me out
- Just tell me if you wanna get me out I'm gone